The Beta Reader That Made Me Cry
28th July 2025
I have a confession to make: I almost didn’t move forward with publishing Honeyed Myths.
Recently, I got in my own head about it, thinking it was too niche, that it wouldn’t have an audience, and that I was wasting money I didn’t have. As a psychiatric nurse, every pound matters, and publishing a book felt frivolous. I have always said I write for my younger self, the one who so desperately wanted to be a writer, but even that wasn’t enough to quiet the doubt gnawing at me.
Looking back, I think it was fear. Not that people would dislike it, but that they would pretend to like it to spare my feelings. That thought was, for some reason, almost humiliating.
So I sought out someone to review my writing.
Her name was Thallia Price, a beta reader.
And her words made me cry. Big, fat, ugly tears. (Embarrassing ones too.)
If you are a writer, I can’t recommend this enough: get yourself a beta reader. Having someone objective read your work can change everything.
Here’s some of what Thallia said:
“Each story's plot was so heartbreaking in the best way. I mainly read horror and I’m used to unhappy endings, but the way you created these stories filled with love between couples and families before having it unravel was incredibly emotional. I had goosebumps multiple times, really with each story I think. My eyes got misty at parts. You drew real emotions from me and I really did connect with the plot of each story. Your writing is smart too and so wonderfully clever and lovely. Each story was so unique, but they still connected fully with their tone. Honestly this was incredible.”
For me, hearing that, hearing that my writing connected with someone on such an emotional level, was life-changing.
It is tricky, writing for yourself. Sometimes it feels like you are isolating the rest of the world from your stories. My best friend, Nabiha, is probably the only person I ever feel I am also writing for, when I write for me. She just gets my writing. She always understands it, always resonates with it. So to hear that Thallia was equally moved, that she connected with my characters like that, blew my tiny mind. I wish I could bottle that feeling. It is honestly better than any drug.
“I’m in awe at how you managed to create characters that I was able to connect with so easily. I can’t think of any two characters who were too similar to each other that made a story feel redundant. Everyone felt so real, even with only getting to be with some for a few pages. The love and yearning between the romances felt so real, Runa and Talayeh were my absolute favorite. You portrayed sapphic love so beautifully between them. I’ll think of them for a while now every time the sun sets or rises. James and Iltri were my second favorite couple. Their love was just so wonderfully pure. You also showed the love between families so well. The way Una fought to protect her children from the dark and then carried on to protect the other children with the light was the very essence of the care and protection a mother does for children. And in Widows-Fruit, you didn’t even give the father a name, but I still felt so connected to him… I truly loved all of your characters, but these were the ones that really stood out to me.”
I had worried my work was too lyrical, too pretty, even indulgent at times. But this changed my perspective. I shared my afterword with her, which explains how each character was inspired by my closest friends and family, and she said, “I’m not surprised that you’re pulling from real life a bit, I can feel it in the love you’ve given these stories.” It made me realise that the love I poured into my characters was felt.
And then there was this:
“Honey can be such a trap, it’s sweet and alluring, but before you know it, you’re trapped within. That’s almost what it felt like with your stories. You totally sucked me in making me fall in love with the characters and there were so many times where I thought ‘maybe they’ll have a happy ending’ before you totally shattered that illusion.”
I was so worried my stories were too sad for people to enjoy, but Thallia loved the bittersweetness, the tragedy. And honestly? I do too. I love a happy ending, I am not a masochist, but I love an ending that stays with you, gnaws at you, and breaks your heart just a little.
Thallia did not just make me want to publish again. She reminded me why I write at all.
“You mentioned it was in its early stages before editing and that you weren’t sure if your collection was too niche or if it was worth sharing with the world. I don’t think I found one thing to be critical of. If I had bought this, I would have happily been sharing it online, with my friends, and displaying it on my shelves. This was incredible and I rarely tell that to the authors I beta read for. I will be rereading this and I desperately want to know when it gets published so I can own it.”
These words wrecked me (in the best way). I even showed my mum, who is English to the bone (the stiff-upper-lip, won’t-cry-at-a-funeral type), and she got teary. So that is a win!
I finally understand why people are so defensive of their work. I used to think, “Your writing isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, just accept that.” But now? Now I get it. Writing feels like baring your soft underbelly to the world and hoping no one pokes it. Publishing feels like trusting the entire world not to poke your underbelly. And unfortunately, the world is made up of all sorts of people, some who are kind, some who are cruel, and you do not get to pick apart each voice to decide which is genuine and which is unkind for cruelty’s sake. It is actually very intimidating.
I do not mind if Honeyed Myths never makes money. I never expected it to. But knowing that just one person out there loved it? That is enough to keep me writing. That makes me feel brave enough to move forward.
So I guess that is what I will keep doing: writing for Thallia, for Nabiha, for my younger self, and maybe, just maybe, for the readers out there who need these stories more than I realise.
Thank you for reading,
Jess x
P.S. If anyone’s interested, this is Thallia’s page. I highly recommend her: https://www.fiverr.com/dreadfulbooks?source=gig_page
